The Art of Neighboring: A Christian Approach to Loving Others
How would you respond if Jesus asked you how you love your neighbor? Jesus states that the two greatest commandments are “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” (Matthew 22: 37-39, NIV). Yet we as American Christians often lose sight of what this means for us practically as many of us do not even know our neighbors let alone love them.
Who Is My Neighbor?
Many of us who grew up in the church are familiar with the story of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10: 25-27. A teacher of the law, wanting to justify himself, asked Jesus “Who is my neighbor?” Jesus expanded the definition of a neighbor to include everyone even our enemies. But Jay Pathak and Dave Runyon argue in their book The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door that loving our neighbor also includes our actual neighbors in our neighborhood. Because Jesus’s definition is so big, oftentimes it can feel overwhelming; it’s easy for us to forget to love the people who actually live right beside us.
Subscribe if you want more practical ideas and book reviews delivered straight to your inbox!
Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
Most of us who have grown up in the era before Daniel Tiger remember Mr. Rogers and his song:
“I have always wanted to have a neighbor just like you,
~Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood
I’ve always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.
So let’s make the most of this beautiful day,
Since we’re together we might as well say,
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
Won’t you be my neighbor?
Won’t you please,
Won’t you please?
Please won’t you be my neighbor?”
Yet most of us don’t even know our neighbors let alone love them. In our American culture where both parents work and people have attached garages, air conditioned homes, backyard decks, and fenced in yards, it’s hard to remember that we even have neighbors. Unless of course we have a problem with something that they are doing….
So the question remains, how do we love our neighbors in the way that God commands? This practical question is what Jay Pathak and Dave Runyon address in their book.
Loving Our Neighbors
The first step they suggest is to create a neighborhood chart. Make a diagram of your house and all the houses that surround you. Then fill in how much you know about your neighbors. Do you know their names? Do you know any surface-level information about them? Do you know anything deeper about them? Do you know how you can pray for them? The authors state that they found only 10% of the people know the names of all the people who surround their house! Their goal is to give people practical advice on how to know their neighbor better. For we can only love those people we know.
Background
Dave Runyon is a pastor of a church in Denver. One day he gathered the area pastors together to brainstorm on how they could reach their community for Christ. They also invited the mayor to be a part of their discussion. The mayor really challenged them to figure out a way to be a community of great neighbors. The mayor went on to say that relationships are often more effective at dealing with community problems than government programs. After he left, the pastors were embarrassed as they realized that their churches weren’t fulfilling the second greatest commandment that Jesus gave them: to love their neighbors. This led to all the area churches to develop a common sermon series and resources for local churches to use to love their neighbors. The Art of Neighboring is an outgrowth of that movement.
Practical Steps to Loving Our Neighbors
After introducing the background and concept of The Art of Neighboring, the book gives practical steps on how to live this out in your neighborhood such as the following:
- The Time Barrier
- The Fear Factor
- Moving Down the Line
- Baby Steps
- Motives Matter
- The Art of Receiving
- The Art of Setting Boundaries
- The Art of Focusing
- The Art of Forgiving
- Better Together
My Thoughts
I think we all need help loving our neighbors better. I know I do! The Art of Neighboring gives us practical steps to help us achieve that goal, so it’s a must-read for every Christian. I know my own attempts at “neighboring” ebb and flow, so it’s always good for me to be re-motivated to reach out again.
The book is an easy read, but I would recommend reading the book slowly and in a group. Loving your neighbors is something that takes time because relationships take time to develop. If you read the book fast, you’ll get all the basic ideas, but the main point of the book is to really live it out. Therefore, it would be extremely helpful to go slowly so you have the ideas consistently in the back of your mind. I also recommend reading it with others so that you have some accountability. I tried forming several small groups to read the book, but they kept falling apart due to scheduling conflicts. I know that I would have applied the concepts better if I read The Art of Neighboring in a group context. It would have helped to have someone to brainstorm with or offer moral support. For example, if you wanted to host a neighborhood cookout, it could be encouraging to at least have one family from your church there to give you moral support—even if they aren’t your neighbors. You at least have a relationship with them. Additionally, there are also questions in the back of the book, so it makes it really easy to use in a group context. Share this post with friends who may want to join you reading the book!
The Great Commission and Family Discipleship
In the Great Commission Jesus stated “’All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.’” (Matthew 28: 18b-20, NIV). Yet it’s hard do disciple and teach people you don’t know. So the first step in the great commission is get to know your neighbors!
But God also wants us to teach our own family members how to obey Jesus (discipleship) which includes teaching them how to love people and share God’s Word with others (evangelism). The best part of loving your neighbors is that your kids get to see the Gospel in action in your neighborhood! As they say kids learn more by watching you in action than they do by listening to you. Loving and serving is contagious and it can make a generational impact in your family.
Conclusion
God calls us to love our neighbors—not just our far away neighbors but the ones who live right next to us. Because they live in such close proximity to us, it can be scary getting to know them. But Jesus commands us to! The Art of Neighboring is a practical guide to loving our neighbors better, so I recommend it for every Christian! I feel like it’s an area that we can all improve upon. I know that even though I try to live out this principle—even before reading the book—I often try to reach out sporadically and oftentimes it seems unfruitful. But God calls me to persist because He persists in His love for me. Respond in the comments on practical ways you’ve found to love your neighbors!
Subscribe
Subscribe now to get more of these types of posts delivered directly to your inbox. Additionally, at this time you will get exclusive access to the Memory Devotional ALL my Memory Devotionals. I hope to be adding more Memory Devotionals on a regular basis:
- 7-Day Memory Devotional on Galatians 5:22-26
- 7-Day Memory Devotional on Psalm 51: 3-7
- 7-Day Memory Devotional on Romans 5:12-15
- 7-Day Memory Devotional on Psalm 8: 3-9
- 7-Day Memory Devotional on John 1: 1-5
- 7-Day Devotional on Diving Deeper into the Bible Using the Notice and Wonder Method
Ladder and Friends Learn to Pray
Are you looking for a way to disciple your young son or grandson? Are you having a difficult time finding Christian resources that target young boys? If so, I have the perfect book for you: Ladder and Friends Learn to Pray!
Many of the Christian resources I found for young children had cute little kids and cuddly animals. This was not appealing at all to my son; he wanted trucks and wheel and trains! So, I scoured Amazon looking for Christian books aimed at young boys, but I couldn’t find anything. Therefore, I decided to write my own. It should be available Summer 2026. Join my pre-order mailing list today to get the latest updates about when the book will be available. (Note: There is NO financial obligation at this time!)
Follow Me!
Follow me on social media! Did you know I have a Pinterest account and recently started an Instagram account? Check out some of my pins below! Don’t forget to share this post with a spouse, friend, or family member. Check out some of my other pins below!
